Reasons for giving

People have very different motives for giving. Very different. That's just reality.

There are some people who will give to your nonprofit who don't care all that much about your mission. So the ask conversation is more like making a "business deal." You give us money, and in exchange we'll give you something you want.

With kindred spirits, they're giving money for the mission. They're meeting their need to contribute, to be seen for who they are, or to grow. Maybe that could be called a deal. But if they have a deep and personal need to support the mission, if the mission is their primary focus, then I just like to call them a partner. Or a champion. Or a kindred spirit. Or a friend.

Let's look at some motives to distinguish between the need to contribute to the mission and other things that might be going on.

 

1. Business benefit
I once heard the head of the corporate foundation for one of the largest banks in America say:

The only reason we give is to increase the value of our stocks for our shareholders.

When I got over my shock at hearing this, I was thrilled because it was a moment of admirable forthrightness.

For this executive, charitable giving was a means of creating positive publicity and goodwill for her company. That was the goal of the foundation—to give the bank shine. To make it more appealing to its customers and potential customers and in turn bring in more investors.

So if you were to approach this company for a donation, you'd first want to decide if you feel okay about being a vehicle for the bank's purposes. And when you talked with them, you'd want to be very aware that you're making a deal. You'd talk as always about the importance of your mission, but you'd also tell them how you will make them shine.

Of course, some of the staff for the foundation might sincerely care about your mission, but their job is to build the reputation of their company. That's what they're getting paid for.

 

2.  Status and prestige
Let's look at another example. There are people who give because they want to be part of an in-group.

Have you ever met a businessman who gives to the symphony not because he has any personal interest in Beethoven, Bach, or Brahms, but because he cares about prestige? He wants his name on the roster of donors. He wants to rub elbows with VIPs at the symphony galas.

There's no reason for the symphony to turn down his money. But it would be good for them to understand that his donation is based on something other than their mission.

 

3.  Co-dependency
As an old co-dependent type myself, I know what it's like to give money so I can feel like a savior, so I can feel needed, so I can feel better than those poor souls I'm helpingxxxxall the sad stuff that goes with co-dependency.

I was giving to shore up a particular image of myself more than to promote the actual mission.

There's a lot of money that comes to nonprofits on this basis. I've written fundraising letters appealing to just this motivation. And it works. I'm not denying that

But what I wish for social change organizations is that we gather donors who are giving from a more empowered place.

 

 

4.  Charity
Let's take a look at the case of Katrina and the disaster that took place in New Orleans. Across the country, there was a tremendous outpouring of sympathy. Millions and millions of dollars were donated during a short period of time. People needed immediate help. And there was such sweet generosity in so many of those donations.

And it's also true that the majority of African Americans in New Orleans were living in poverty before Katrina and are continuing to live in poverty since.

Radically fewer donors are motivated to give to deeper, long-term systemic change to end poverty.

There is a deeper, gutsier generosity that social change activists are speaking to when we ask for donations.

 

5.   Woo me!
There are donors who want to be wooed and won. They want you to make them feel special. I have to admit I get a kick out of this. There's something about this particular challenge that I can take on in a playful spirit and find quite entertaining.

But there's a problem. When does the wooing stop? Does the donor need it forever? Do we have to do so much wooing and winning that by the time we get the check it's not worth it anymore?

I like making donors feel special. I like it a lot. I like telling kindred spirits how much they mean to me. I like acknowledging them. I don't even mind wooing them in the beginning. But then I want partnership.

At some point, I start to resent donors who I know if I don't woo them enough they're going to go away because they are not deeply enough attached to the mission.

I want social change leaders to be leading, moving the mission forward, not carrying donors on their backs.

And personally, I want the kind of donors who stand on their own two feet when they make a donation. That's what a partner does. And then there's no end of sweet things I want to say to them.

 

One last note. Even if someone is starting from one of the motivations above, I think it's a good idea to keep looking for openings to go deeper in case the donor begins to want that.

And it's also true that there are kindred spirits who do not want the ask to be personal. They are familiar with the more formal, scripted, business-like ask.

But even then, I'd urge you to stay open to your intuition. Judy, who was a Board member of a nonprofit, told me this story:

We had researched this couple and decided to ask them for $125,000. It was my job to actually ask for the money. So there we were at their house and we finished the small talk. Just as I took a breath to do the ask, I had a hunch. I asked for $250,000. The man of the couple nodded and said, "I think we can do that."

 

© 2008 Rich Snowdon