2. Days without hope

Maybe you have a stable, nurturing relationship with hope...

And you believe with all your heart that despite the dangers we face as a species, we're going to be able to save ourselves.

You trust hope. You count on it to get you through the long, hard hours of your work. And every morning when you wake it's right there for you, refreshed, ready to spend the day with you.

But what if instead...

Your relationship with hope is unsettled and unsettling. And you don't know what to think about it, so most of the time it's easier not to think about it at all.

Or what if...

Hope has disappeared on you. You simply don't believe in it anymore. It's not like you wanted it to go, but it's gone, really gone, and you can't imagine it coming back.

I've lived in all three of these relationships with hope...

Believer,

Agnostic, and

Nonbeliever.

I know what it's like to have hope at the very center my life, I know what it's like to be at a loss about hope, and I know what it's like to live without it.

But I've also come to understand, now, finally, that...

Love does not depend on hope, and

Who I am does not depend on hope.

And I know that...

Good work does not depend on hope.

We can keep moving forward with our work whether hope is present or not. In fact, some people find that when hope is gone their caring deepens and their commitment comes alive like never before.

If we stake our self-esteem on outcomes, it seems to me we're starting at the wrong end.

I recommend that you focus first on...

Your heart's desire,

Because...

That's the source of your work.

And because...

Living by what's deepest in your heart,

Really doing that, is...

A good way to live whether or not you achieve your stated goals this year, or ever.

Caring about people and working to make a better world are such essential callings for those of us who are dedicated to social change that if we quit...

We wouldn't be ourselves anymore.

It's quite possible for us to...

Care passionately about outcomes,

While...

Doing our work with just the right touch of detachment to keep us from falling into despair,

And while remembering that the primary reason we do our work is because...

This is simply what's in our hearts to do.

And then if we achieve some of our goals, or lots of our goals, that's a happy bonus.

Have you ever said any of the following things to yourself?

I'm scared that I'm on the verge of losing hope. I can feel it slipping away, so what should I do?

I'm all over the map with hope. Some days it's here and some days it's gone and this is driving me crazy.

I hate being in this twilight zone with hope. I want to get settled on one side or the other. How do I do that?

Am I a bad person because I don't believe in hope anymore?

I don't have hope anymore, but in this new place I've had these moments so sweet and serene and surprising. How do I get more of these?

I'm finally okay without hope. But I have dear friends who freak out when I tell them what I'm really thinking and I don't want to lose them.

The question of hope is profound. It touches us at the very deepest levels. And if you want, I'd love to talk with you about your relationship with hope...

So whatever it is,

Or whatever it might become,

It works for you,

And makes you stronger.

 

Rich
510-663-3555
e-mail

 

© 2011 Rich Snowdon